2017 was a weird year for me.
It started with recovering from a manic episode, and coming to terms with having bipolar disorder. I stopped writing, and in a sense, I lost myself. I say this because I focused a lot more on the negatives than the positives. Instead of focusing on growth and all the good that had happened, I decided to self-loathe internally and beat myself up for what didn’t happen and what I could and could not have done to have a good year.
What I didn’t realize till now, though, is that there are, indeed, triumphs and joyful moments that are to be celebrated. For one, and this has got to be the one I’m most proud of – taking my medications for a whole year has aided to the stabilization of my moods in the sense that I have not had a manic episode or a deep state of depression. Although I’ve had states of mild depression here and there, it never got so bad to the point that I wanted to completely shut off from the world. Another positive that happened is that Kevin and I got engaged!! I can easily say that that day was one of the happiest days of my life. We were on a trip to California and on June 12, at Sunset Cliffs, he got down on one knee and proposed. I remember it as if it were yesterday. This also leads into another positive. In 2017, I had the privilege of traveling to three destinations. I went to Texas with my parents in January, California in June with Kevin, and Florida in October with Kevin as well. In California we went to San Diego, Los Angeles and San Francisco. In Florida, I was able to see Kevin compete again on a national platform at USAPL Nationals alongside some of the strongest in the country. Last but not least, the memories made with friends and family this year are all collectively joyful moments.
Maybe 2017 wasn’t that bad of a year at all. But, now with the new year, I’m all for focusing on reaching attainable goals and gaining self-confidence to rebuild who I am. With this new year I want to:
- Be kinder to myself. Practice self-love
- Love others more
- Learn how to communicate better
- Live in the moment. Appreciate everything around me
- Think more positively and see the light in all aspects
- Eat healthier, exercise at least three times a week
- Spend more quality time with my loved ones
- Write – whether it be in a journal or on this blog – in order to exercise my thoughts
Here’s to a new year, here’s to a better me.