July thirtieth was the first time I’ve ever competed within the USAPL (United States of America Powerlifting) federation. Prior to this, I’ve competed twice within the RPS federation.
This was such a tough day for me mentally. For starters, a week and a half leading up to this competition, I started to withdraw from training and I started to withdraw from conversation and activity with my friends. This is what always happens when I begin to dive into a depressive state. The whole week leading up to the meet, I kept asking Kevin if I should do it or not, and if it would even be worth it since I knew I wasn’t going to hit any real meet personal records (PR’s). The night before, I kept changing my mind by going back and forth in the sense that I would tell myself that I was going to do it and then telling myself that I wasn’t going to do it because I didn’t think I was going to have fun.
As you can see, I was able to gather up some strength (what was left at that moment, that is) and I wound up competing. One of my main reasons as to why I didn’t want to go was because I had to wake up extremely early since weigh-in’s began at 6am (give or take). Another reason why I didn’t want to be there was because I knew I would be seeing my friends, and at that time, I was so depressed that I didn’t even want to see people who made me happy. Isn’t that crazy how your mind can play tricks on you in that way?
Now, from the outside looking in, I wish I was way more excited that day. For one, I did hit a small meet PR for my squat (four pounds, yay) and the crowd kept cheering for me even if I was not there mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I also wish I was way more excited that day because I got to compete with my very best friend (shown above). This girl is so important to me because she has been a ride or die since day one. No matter what life throws at our relationship, we are always able to keep a firm foundation and for that, I will never be able to repay you. Thank you, Sharing, for being able to sit with me in a crowd full of sweaty powerlifting men and women, and being able to tear in public and not giving a f*@! because you wanted to express to me how much you miss and love me.
Also, some of my Stony Brook strength family came too for support and Kev and Russ competed as well. This just solidifies how lucky I am to always have a great support system. Thank you to you all who are always there for me in the good and the bad.
Thank you to the meet directors and everyone else who contributed to making my first USAPL experience awesome. I’m not sure when I’ll compete next, but I’m excited to continue to get back into the in’s and out’s of powerlifting.