Growing up, my siblings and I mostly had a great childhood. Up until now, there were oftentimes many instances in which I would feel an empty void in my heart as if something was missing.
After going to therapy and after some self-reflecting, I think I can now say I know why I’ve had attachment issues. Let’s get right into it.
For starters, I’ve talked about how wonderful my parents are but I’ll talk about them again. My mother gave up her job and has been a stay-at-home mom (not an easy job at all and I hate when people undermine stay-at-home moms) since my older brother was born, and my dad has worked hard his whole life, but even more so ever since he came to America. When I was born, I think it was till I was three my dad was an overnight Chinese car service driver. He then found a mentor who believed in him and his love for cars that allowed him to open up his own mechanic shop and become the small business owner that he is today.
You may be asking, what do my parents have to do with me having attachment issues?
Well, though my mother is an extremely strong individual, she does however have a lot of health problems. In eighth grade, I remember crying at my mom’s bedside apologizing to her for being such a bad daughter because she was really sick and she had to be hospitalized. Then in high school, mom was diagnosed with breast cancer (don’t worry, she fought it and she’s okay now).
As for my father, as you can see, dad is a really hard worker and as a small business owner, you must tend to your business more so than if you just work for a corporate company. I remember when I was around eight years old, dad went away to China for a whole month for business and I hated that. And though I see my dad at dinner every night, the only time that I really get to spend quality time with dad was and is during vacations and Sundays.
Even thinking about my childhood and my upbringing still makes me sad sometimes, but they’re mostly bittersweet emotions because I know my parents ultimately did what they could to keep us happy. I’m a pretty strong individual, but I’m also allowed to be human right?
Anyways, I picked up a part-time job finally and I must leave to go to work soon. Speak soon.
Blessings on blessings, y’all.